Why is it important to say no in teaching?
In teaching, it is easy to fall prey to saying yes to everything.
- Saying yes to SLT requests and demands.
- Saying yes to opportunities that may bring you your next promotion.
- Saying yes to students.
Yet, there are consequences to saying yes all the time.
- Too many plates to keep spinning
- Overwhelm
- A never ending to-do list!
One reason you may find yourself saying yes in teaching is a fear of saying no.
No can sometimes feel like a bad word. Just the thought of saying no to someone may induce feelings of stress and fear in you.
You may fear that saying no gives the impression that you are self-centred, unable to do everything and even not a caring teacher.
In fact, the opposite is true. Choosing to say no shows that you are level-headed, responsible and self-aware of your own capacity. In fact, no is a beautiful word that will leave you feeling empowered and in control of your time, energy and values.
Here’s three reasons it is important to say no in teaching.
1) Saying no avoids disappointment
Here’s a reality check: you cannot do everything.
If you cannot do everything, there will come a point where you will have said yes to someone and then will have to let them down.
This is so much worse than saying no to begin with! This induces disappointment much more than a no at the beginning.
So, when something is asked of you, check in with yourself and make sure that you have capacity to complete the request.
2) Saying no helps to create clear boundaries
When you say no, you are clearly setting out your boundaries. You are choosing to protect and promote your own wellbeing in order to thrive in teaching.
For instance, when a student comes to you at lunchtime asking for help with their homework, and you haven’t yet eaten your own lunch, you can choose to say no.
By saying no, you are choosing your own physical boundary defining that you have a need for sustenance and that this is your priority in this moment.
From a utilitarian perspective, it is more important for you to rest and feed yourself at lunchtime in order to effectively teach your afternoon classes than it is to help one student and be in a tired, hungry state for the afternoon.
Saying no is ultimately about creating priorities and sticking to them. If you cannot do everything, you can choose to focus on what will benefit you and your students the most.
3) You can empower others
Sometimes in teaching, saying yes can inhibit the growth of those around you.
You may take on the role of rescuer, saving students and colleagues alike.
People may come to you asking for help when actually they can find the solutions themselves. Yet, they have become accustomed to coming to you for help because of your tendency to rescue them from their situations.
Instead, you can empower them by saying no.
For instance, if a colleague regularly comes to you asking for help with their planning, you can say that now is not a good time for you.
This gives them options.
They could try finding a solution to the problem themselves. They may in fact come up with a solution that suits them far better than the one you may have given them.
Alternatively, they can find another yes person to help them.
This can happen with students too. There will be students in your classroom that struggle with individual work. Within seconds of the task being set, you know that they will be asking for your help. This can consume your time and energy and limit your capacity to support others in the classroom.
Give them support by saying no (or more specifically not immediately saying yes). Tell them that you will come back to them in five minutes and that you will be delighted to hear about what they have already done and explore what they could do next. It empowers them to be brave and give it a go, knowing that a safety net is still present.
Ultimately, saying no can benefit both you and those in your school community. It is not always suitable to say no yet, you can begin to find moments to practise. You will find yourself feeling empowered and in greater control. With this, you will achieve greater feelings of accomplishment and satisfaction in teaching.
If you would like to learn more about the power of saying no in teaching, check out this episode of the Leading from the Middle Podcast from myself, Education Support and the Leadership Team at Twinkl.
Gemma Drinkall is an Educational Wellbeing Coach, helping middle leaders in education to create clear boundaries so that they can love teaching, and their lives, again.
Want to get in touch? Book a free, no obligation virtual coffee chat here: calendly.com/headsphere/bookacallwithgemma
